


I Am Not Stone

by paradoxicalconverse



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Complete, F/F, Letters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-08
Updated: 2015-07-08
Packaged: 2018-04-08 07:23:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4295805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paradoxicalconverse/pseuds/paradoxicalconverse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Stone cannot love flesh. But I am not stone."<br/>(A letter Carmilla writes to her mother after realizing that she is in love with Laura)</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Am Not Stone

**Author's Note:**

> For whatever the reason, when working on a different fic for Hollstein, the phrase "Stone cannot love flesh, but I am not stone," popped into my head, and thus, this fic was born

My Dearest Mother,

 You once told me that stone could not love flesh. I was the stone, and she was the flesh. And you, I am loathsome to admit, were not wrong. Stone cannot love flesh. Stone, perhaps, cannot love at all.

 But you had made a mistake, Mother. You told me that I was stone, and being the foolish child I was, I believed you.

 Of course, there is no doubt in my mind, that she is the flesh. I hear it in her heartbeat when we wake in the morning. I hear it in the way that her blood thrums through her veins, alive and beautiful and pure. I hear it when she tells me that she is mine and I am hers and I believe it with everything that I am.

 Stone cannot love flesh. That much is true.

 But I have reached a conclusion.

 She is flesh.

 And I love her.

 Therefore, I am not stone.

 I am uncertain why it took me so long to figure this out. I believed that your words were written into the sky when I was sentenced to eternity through your hands. Or, your fangs, I suppose. I believed that what you said was black and white, and only truth. I did not understand that there were things that you did not even begin to comprehend either. So when you told me that I was stone, I did not put a second thought into the matter, and just accepted the fact that I was supposedly a pebble broken from a boulder.

 If you put a stone into a creek, Mother, it will wither away. It will take a great amount of time, yes, but eventually, nothing will have remained of the tiny pebble.

 I may not be older than the earth itself, but I will not wither into nothing, as a simple rock would.

 Therefore, I am not stone.

 All things die, Mother. You will die. I will die. She will die. Death does not mean disappearing, it means changing. So I had to think long and hard about what I was. Stone could not love flesh. So what could? What will remain forever, never wither, and yet die, but not cease to exist?

 I have yet to reach a conclusion about what all of this means. I have yet to reach a conclusion about what flesh’s counterpart is as well. But I can tell you what _I_ am, perhaps the greatest answer I do believe I will ever know.

 I am _hers_.

 Stone cannot love flesh. And yet, I love her.

 Therefore, I am not stone.

**Author's Note:**

> lemme know in the comments below?  
> tumblr: please-say-nine.tumblr.com


End file.
